How very softly

you tiptoed into my world

Almost silently

Only a moment you stayed

But what an imprint

Your footprints have left

upon my heart.



Billy was born in 1973 as a female. He was named Amanda Marie Kulas. I met Billy (then Amanda) in the 2nd grade. He was not like the other girls, I really can't explain what was different, other than he was just *different*.

I befriended him instantly, we were like two peas in a pod. Wherever he went I followed, and when I didn't he was following me *smile*

We were best friends, kids can be so cruel...and many kids made fun of him because he was different. He used to get so mad and tell me to go away, I used to joke with him that I'd *never* go away, wow - guess I knew that young :)

In 6th grade "amanda" was assumed by all gay. But that year he told me of his feelings....feelings he had always remembered having...Feeling like a boy but having the body of a girl.

I have no clue what my then sexual preference was, all I know is I loved her or him, Billy or Amanda. That person was the most important person in my life, and I hoped he'd find his way... but take me along :)

By high school Billy looked and dressed like a boy. He asked me to please call him Billy and so I did. Later he began to identify as a butch, and then after that either a butch or a male. He completely stopped identifying as a female because inside he was not. I understood that, and I respected that. I loved Billy for who he was, not what he was.

Billy asked me to marry him after our graduation while we were walking along the beach one evening. *of course* I said YES, I felt like a princess! Billy always made me feel so special, so beautiful, so feminine and desirable. He spoiled me, he loved me...

I had just started college and was going to go through the nursing program. We decided we would get married as soon as I was finished with school and eventually we would have children.

Just as Billy being born with the wrong body parts....things don't always happened as planned. Please click here to see how our lives drastically changed..

midi playing
my heart will go on
Celine Dion